If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
