The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
