I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
