Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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