I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
