Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She announced her abortion via fbk
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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