I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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