I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
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