In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
