I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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