it hurts more in the daytime
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
