I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
