does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize