In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
