If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
