For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
