After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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