omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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