I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
