that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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