I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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