He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Houston, we have a squirter
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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