You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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