Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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