Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
