what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
