all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
