just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Pants are for mortals
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
