that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
