Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
