Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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