I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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