Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
