Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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