Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's shark week go big or go home
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
