You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
