I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
