he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
