He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
