"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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