I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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