I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
