Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
