even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
