...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
