He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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