I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
