Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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