I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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