I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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