everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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