FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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