i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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