I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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