I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
