she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize