dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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