sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
