My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
