OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think I am morally bankrupt
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
