We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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