Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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