I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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