i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
How's work?
Spinning.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize